Along with the freedom from school, comes possibility. For me that possibility will allow me to reach for dreams that have always meant more to me than a career. Working will be a part of this dream (because I never have thought staying at home would work for my personality), but not the main event. For me, my dream has always been to have a family. A family of my own. Right now, Eric, Lou, and I compose this division of the (huge) Weiter family. When we get home, my hope is to find a place to settle (starter home?) and hopefully get pregnant. It feels weird to even have that be a possibility...am I old enough for this? haha With the experiences that many friends, family members, and colleagues have gone through trying to get pregnant, I know it might not be an easy road. Infertility and complications may be on the horizon. I am trying to remember that I don't get to plan everything. Some things in life are not up to me. But, at the same time, I can't help but be excited by the possibility that expanding our little family could happen within the next year. Maybe. We'll see what fate has in store for us. Until then...no one gets to know all the daydreaming I do about this subject :)
September 27, 2013
I figured I should add some more about what's going on with me lately. At this point, I am wondering if I could possibly be pregnant. WHAT?! Maybe just maybe. Its like every little thing I feel or "symptom" I have makes me think I could be. I guess I'll just have to wait and see...Trying to eat healthy and keep up with my yoga. Its a lot easier to make healthy choices when I remember that I could possibly be growing a person soon. I feel like I have been waiting my whole life for this time. I am a bit worried that the timing isn't "just right" because I currently live in a basement and won't have enough time in by next summer to take FMLA...but then again, I have been waiting to get to this point for a long time and kind of don't care if its "just right." It feels right enough!
January 2, 2014
So, I'm still not preg. It's kind of annoying and worries me sometimes. But I'm trying to just go with the flow. (which only happens like every 38 days irregularly...TMI but frustrating). I am trying to remember that this doesn't have to be on any certain time frame...but I kind of have baby rabies. I want to get pregnant. It can really do a number on your emotions when you normally have PMS hormones combined with "Oh yeah, you're not pregnant yet again" I'm happy with my life, so I don't want to be ungrateful. I guess, I just have to keep reminding myself that I take what life hands me and keep rollin. It will happen. One day. One way or another.
January 24, 2014
I think it's time to update this journal. I was feeling overwhelmed by trying to figure out my cycles, so I decided to make an appointment with my doctor (actually she's a midwife, but you get what I mean). I took in the info I had about how long my cycles have been and how they are irregular. She said I should get some bloodwork done. I went the next morning to give the blood to check my thyroid, glucose, insulin, and hormones...I have gotten the results back on the thyroid [normal]. So, now I am waiting on the other results. Based on my temperatures, I figured I ovulated and was waiting (like the other months) to see when the period would come. I have been feeling a little funny the past couple days. I talked to Eric about it last night and about how we just want this so bad, but don't want to get our hopes up and get disappointed again. This morning my temps were up higher and I just felt like I should take a test. Eric was about to leave for work, so I said I'll just take it before you go, but we'll know it's probably going to be negative. Well, wouldn't ya know it. I looked at it and it hadn't even been the amount of time its supposed to be...I was like, "Babe! Come look at this!" "Ummm, whats that mean?" If there's two lines its positive" "There's definitely two lines" And then we just stood there shocked. I took a couple more and got the same result. We laid in bed with Lou and soaked it in. Trying not to freak out just yet...who knows this early really. But at the same time, I am so HAPPY I can't contain my contain my self. This song is my theme for the day.
So I keep taking tests and they keep coming up positive...I am having a hard time believing this is true! I am going to give it a few more days before telling anyone else (other than Eric...and Lou). We are so excited. Its taking time to sink in, but the more it does, the more I want to shout it from the rooftops.
April 23, 2014
Well, its April and its really true. I am pregnant. So much has happened since January when I found out. I went through about 5-6 weeks of feeling queasy (car sick/ hungover) and exhausted. I would basically get home from work and go to sleep on the couch. Then I would wake up with time to eat and then go to sleep for the night in my bed. Once I got past that phase, I started feeling like "Am I really pregnant?" I had heard the heartbeat and even saw the lil bean on an ultrasound, but I didn't feel any different. I question everything. I am just now (16 weeks) starting to have a bump. One that doesn't go away. For a while I think I just had bloating. Now there is definitely something happening in my belly region. I still wonder if people can tell or not. I am excited to start feeling the baby move soon and for the belly to get bigger. I hadn't gained any weight till this past week, and I am just now starting to see a difference on the scale. In 3 weeks, we get to find out whether "Peabody" as we call it is a boy or girl. I can't wait. I feel like I want to know everything I can about this little person.
So that's the latest update. I am keeping this record mainly for myself. It is nice to look back on.
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