I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so...scared!

Ok, that was what popped into my mind when I thought about exercise. Jesse Spano on diet pills...I have been taking my own swirl into the world of fitness lately. I have a gym membership with my sisters but, of course, were not going. So, I have taken it into my own hands by making up a mish mosh of fitness routines. One day I copied some Zumba moves from a youtube video. Another day I did a bunch of squats, lunges, pushups, and planks from a list I found by googling. My favorite has been to turn on some really fast techno and just try to keep up with the pace of the music...I'm really glad no one has seen me doing this because I'm sure I look like I'm having convulsions :) But at least I'm moving I guess.
In other news, I'm a bad blogger because I have been ferociously writing essays and other internship stuff...sometimes falling into the trap of reading other peoples stuff and feeling like mine is crap and I won't get an internship. Trying to avoid that. I enjoy shopping for my internship outfits much better than writing cover letters!

So, I really wrote that ^^ last week and then never posted it somehow...now I will post it plus add on some.

Update on the internship stuff. I have applied to Birmingham, Nashville, Dayton, and Little Rock...then realized there was a mistake on my APPI which can't be changed. It also can't be changed for any of the other applications I have to send out because once you do one you're stuck. SO, I've decided worrying about it would be useless. I am forcing optimism that I will get intrviews and at least 1 site will want me as their intern and I will get my degree. schnikes. I thought this was so far off for so long and now its happening.

Lazy Sunday

I visited my Mom's house yesterday. It was full of my girls. 2 sisters, Mom, & 4 nieces. It got a little cray cray. We were trying on some clothes that somebody gave to my Mom. A bunch of jeans and tops. Let's just say we made some really cute outfits. Todd & Eric probably thought we were smokin crack in the bathroom. Then I went to JJ's to swap some work shirts to change up our wardrobe. The girls discovered the distortion feature on my camera. See below. They got a hold of the crack we were smokin. Ava was brushin JJ's hair, through the curls. Savannah was "massaging" Rae. Katie singing at the top of her lungs, and Lily saying "can I play your phone? BUT Savannah got to!!" The whole time I'm frantically trying to dodge the cat I'm allergic to. This doesn't sound lazy, but it was just what I needed. My family seriously drives me insane but I think its because I'm one of them...we are all high on life.

Proposed

I never thought I would have two proposals in my lifetime. The one in April was good enough for me. But I must say, having proposed my dissertation SUCCESSFULLY :) I am pretty happy. I am so ready to focus on internship essays now. This type of writing is way easier for me and more interesting. I celebrated by going to Dairy Del with Eric, visiting my nieces, and finishing my book, The Help. Awesome relaxing day. I also spent the morning doing our Save the Date pictures...I will post when it is done. Eric's cousin Kevin is aphotography major and shot us in front of the church where we will get married. It was fun being goofy with Eric and coming up the poses.

Plan for the next month = internship essays and applications!

Confused

I saw a pretty awesome speaker this week. One of the topics discussed was the structure of our justice system. He thought it was arbitrary...I kind of agree. When it comes to the sentence someone gets, or even whether they get charged, a lot is based on the officer, judge, state that it happens in etc. Drug charges seem to bring hefty sentencing, but then when true moral wrongs occur , like murder, it may not matter what happened, but what can be proven by a lawyer. When it comes to the death penalty, it really made me think, should we be judged by the worst thing we ever did in our lives? Yes, I think we should be punished, but is it our justice systems right to give the life/death call? I don't know the solutions or how our system could really be based on a moral code (when everyone seems to disagree on ethics & morality) but it would be nice to think that the laws and justice system were actually making changes to our society...I guess it takes changes in the society to change how we see justice.

Status change: No longer a server

Last night was my last shift at Hall of Fame. I am hoping I have enough money for the wedding without working there, but it felt so good to think, "I don't have to roll silver ever again!" We'll see if I ever pick up a shift or something, but at least I have a few more hours a week to devote to dissertation. Now I just have to make sure I actually do that. Proposal is next week, and I can't lie, I am NERVOUS! I really feel like my 2nd reader is going to rip it to shreds. Hopefully not.Maybe my chair will take up for me?

Ordered my bridesmaid bouquets last night and I am pretty happy with the computer picture of them...I'll have to see what they look like in person. Eric & I worked on our posters we are going to use in our Save the Date pictures (hopefully this weekend)...I loved doin this little artsy thing with him. He was actually more into it than I thought. I had to restrain my perfectionist self and make sure I didn't just take over everything. We talked about the wedding and what he wanted as far as a say in the decorations, etc. It was a nice lil couple day :)

Busy weekend ahead. My friend Kelly's getting married and that should be fun. Her and her fiance are me & Eric's wedding buddies at all the weddings we have gone to over the last year. Scott likes to yell out during the speeches and always cracks us up. Kelly and I end up people watching. Pauly D is at 4th Street that night, so we'll see if we end up there after the reception. Saturday is the Schnitzelburg Walk...should be entertaining. Weather pending, we might do our pics for Save the Dates on Sunday...I told Eric we can't be hungover for this and he'll need a haircut. I bet this haircut happens Sunday morning and hopefully he doesn't look ill. Back to work at CSH...fun times

"Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.”

Trust. This simple word can be very important in many ways.

Definition: reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing.

You might have a trust, like money...and I would say you are lucky!

Trust might be applied to the ones you love...having confidence that they will follow through with the promises they have made. This type of trust is improtant because you need it in order to put your whole heart into realtionships.

The type of trust I want to talk about is trust in yourself. I have heard that you usually know more than you think you know. I find myself time and again thinking "what an idiot!" Example. 2 nights ago I talked with my friend while I sat in my car...car off, but keys in...battery died and Eric had to save me. With this whole school thing, you are almost beaten with self-doubt that you cannot do these things they ask of you. One thing piling on after another. I have found myself thinking I don't need to worry about internship stuff because if I don't propose my dissertation on time, it won't matter anyways...as if I won't be proposing on time. If my brain would wake up and slap my low self-confidence, I would see that I can and WILL propose on time. It might even be a crappy proposal, but I did NOT push myself through school on the so-called "suicide track" to now take a year longer. So, that is my blurb on trust. I think it is important in a lot of ways. And more is better. But its hard to do when you have been burned.
On to updating. I love CSH...hands down. I love it. My day flies by because I am SO busy with interesting cases. And its not so scary.

By the way...if anyone reads this that is NOT one of my 3 followers (shout out to Dad, Conni Jo, and Amanda!!) you should follow me...and my friends! I have a list of blogs that I read on the side of the page. Conni Jo and Amanda are both hilarious and I promise their blogs do not disappoint...I also have someother fun ones on there if you are into design, being cheap, weddings, and other randomness.

My mind babies

No I don't want a baby right now...I have to finish school and I think if I got pregnant today, I would be HUGE in May. I really want to wear the wedding dress I already picked out. But that doesn't mean I can't think of what it will be like when I do have aa lil squirmy person. I really picture what my babies might look like and it makes me grin.

This is a baby picture of Eric...I just think he's frickin adorable.

This is my niece Ava...I mean seriously?! I want to squeeze her cheeks.

So by my prediction, my children may be a combo of these factors (some from me and some from Eric...guess which)
Dimples...Scars
Blonde hair...brown hair
Blue eyes...hazel eyes
Uncoordinated...great at every sport
Prissy girl...rowdy boy
Tall & lanky...broad & muscley?
Sassy pants...sweet kidlet

What a crazy mixed up kid this would be if it cross-pollinated into some mutant who was all of these things in one o_O

Or maybe my kid will randomly be none of these things and come out with red hair, freckles, and brown eyes. Now wouldn't that be tough to explain ;)